We invited our friends Scooby-Doo and Shaggy over last night (their favorite night of the year), and honestly we should have known they’d pull these shenanigans again. What follows are their unfiltered thoughts on “What the Hex Going On?”—a classic episode of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! Enjoy.
Shaggy: Like, sorry for the late update, gang. Scoob and I got a bit distracted last night, and we were so tired this morning we had to eat a whole English breakfast or three to get in gear.
Scooby: Ree-hee-hee-hee.
Shaggy: But like, we watched “What the Hex Going On?” and it was a trip, man. Like, watching yourself on television, you know?
Scooby: Reah! Reah!
Shaggy: Especially when you’re in a situation that, like, totally freaks you out! Like, this was not a groovy thing. This was a spooky thing. Even if the ghost was just a weird uncle.
Scooby: Rupid runcle rhost. *Growls.*
Shaggy: *Inhales.* It still had me bugging out, man. *Coughs.* Plus there were all these cameras and projectors and things, too. So it was like watching ourselves on TV where we were also watching ourselves on, like TV? And then it was like we were watching ourselves watching ourselves watch ourselves in, like, r-r-real life, man. That’s why me and Scoob munched through, like, five boxes of Scooby Snacks, a couple of footlong hoagies—
Scooby: Rubway randwiches!
Shaggy: Right, sorry Scoob. Rubway randwiches. And also some Girl Scout cookies. And by some I mean eight. Boxes. Of, like, Samoas. Even though, like, it was so obvious, looking back, that the ghost was way too bad 1950s sci-fi flick? Weren’t they always. And what was with that hokey British accent, man?
Scooby: Rike Roriarty!
Shaggy: Roriarty?
Scooby: From Rerlock Rolmes!
Shaggy: Oh, Moriarty. Well, yeah, Scoob, but like, waaay less smart. Like, why did he own a swami shop? That seemed, like, irrelevant to the plot and also contrived. Even for the ’60s, wasn’t that kind of ambiguously racist, man? And come to think of it, why did we end up going to the swami anyway?
Scooby: Ri don’t row! *Inhales.*
Shaggy: It was silly, man! Like, almost as silly as Velma calling me silly a silly number of times. And did Daphne ever, like, talk? The more I think about it, the more I think our lives were some sort of sitcom aimed at little kids. With everyone always doing the same things, you know? And we kept running into the same problems over and over and over…
Scooby: *Coughs.* Raggy?
Shaggy: Sorry, I spaced out. Anyway, it gave me the creeps, man. Like, the green uncle guy was creepy, but the reminder that our lives were so circuitous and hackneyed was even weirder. At least Fred’s not around to tell us why we’re wrong, huh, Scoob?
Scooby: Scooby Dooby Doo!
Shaggy: Exactly. Emphasis on the doobie. Pass the Scooby Snacks, will ya?
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