Welcome to Ask Scratchy, a monthly column in which the Animaniacs’ top psychiatric mind answers the tough questions for cartoon characters from the four corners of the Earth. To submit a question, email the good doctor at askscratchansniff@gmail.com.
Dear Dr. Scratchansniff,
They tell me you’re the doctor to go to when none of the other answers make sense. I guess you could say that’s where I’m at, at least when it comes to my soul. My problem is that I feel like I have no soul. They froze it when they froze me 57 years ago. You don’t come away from something like that feeling well-adjusted — or financially solvent, for that matter. While I deal with that problem, I have a hard time figuring out what it is I’m missing. I’ve looked for it all across the solar system and can’t seem to find it.
I think that’s how I fell in with these bounty hunters. The bad guys run, and I catch them, but that rush doesn’t offer much beyond the payout we get at the end, it’s always easy come, easy go. And I haven’t found much to go on about my past life. The memories come in flashes and on the scratchy, grainy film from antique magnetic video tapes.
The bounty hunters aren’t friends, either. Not really. Some days I don’t think any of us are capable of using that word for anyone we know. They’re just as fucked in the head as I am.
Spike might be the worst. He told me once to forget my past, that it didn’t matter anymore. Then he ran away from me. Even when I pulled a gun on him, he ran away from me, as if that didn’t even matter. As if I didn’t matter. Then they killed him before I could really even say goodbye. Another I’ve lost, another I’ll probably forget.
Tell me, doctor, what can you make of that?
Painfully,
Spoken Like a Child
Guten tag, Spoke Like a Child,
I want you to take a deep breath and repeat after me:
“My past matters.”
Now, I’d like you say that again and add the following two phrases:
“The present moment matters. My future matters.”
Phew, okay! I know it might feel strange to be talking to yourself, but I hope that this little exercise will help shift your perspective. It’s clear from your letter that tracing the broken and unclear trajectory of your life is very important to you. I’m so sorry that your bounty hunter friend so harshly invalidated your experience (or lack thereof). While, as you point out, his dismissal likely stems from his own problems and insecurities, telling you that your past doesn’t matter was not OK.
It seems, though, that finding out about your past has become all-consuming, possibly at the expense of investing in your life now and your future. I hear that completely: How can you plan for your future if you don’t know anything about your past? That is quite a challenge, but I think that taking some time to clarify exactly what you think learning about your past will do for you will help you feel more content and secure.
Ask yourself the following questions. What do I already know about my past, and how do the pieces I know fit together? Who was I, and who am I now? How do I think I will feel if I do find out who I used to be? What happens if my past life isn’t consistent with my current personality? Interests? Morals? Are there things about my past that I don’t want to know? What are the things I most want to know? How do I think I’ll feel, grow, and change when I know about my past, and are there other ways of finding or developing those things?
That last question is particularly important to consider since — and I don’t mean to be discouraging — it seems unlikely you will be able to fill in your full timeline. Whoever froze you likely also did irreparable damage to your hippocampus, the memory center of your brain. Although I am a doctor of the psyche, which is very much situated in the brain, I am not as familiar with the brain’s mechanics. If you’re interested in learning more about the way in which your brain is functioning (and being space bounty hunter comes with an insurance plan), make an appointment with a neurologist. They can administer a series of brain scans and cognitive tests and tell you which areas of your brain were affected. They may even be able to offer treatments that can mitigate memory loss.
Ultimately, what matters most is how you choose to move forward: Can you come to terms with not knowing about your past, or do you want to spend the rest of your life searching?
If you can answer these questions, you will be able to leave the past in the past and focus on your future, and das, Spoken Like a Child, is gut.
Faye Valentine’s Ask Scratchy question was submitted by Eric Vilas-Boas.
Ask Scratchy is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Although the character Dr. Scratchansniff is modeled after two psychoanalytic luminaries, Sigmund Freud and Otto Kernberg, this column is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding a medical condition.
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