Welcome to What Horse Is He Right Now Dot Com, a collection of stories by The Dot and Line about BoJack Horseman Season 5. Spoilers for Season 5 follow.
The aces and aros of the internet have plenty to discuss about Season 5 of BoJack Horseman. I personally found a lot of the more, uh, noteworthy ace-related moments funny and subversive, but that in no way invalidates anyone who doesn’t. We have the right to a range of reactions…because we’re a wide range of people.
Even if we share an orientation, we’re not a monolith. It’s like we’re all individuals with different opinions. Wild, right?
Which is what this is all about, really. Todd and Yolanda — and their breakup.
It was thrilling when Todd realized his orientation, and even more so when he started finding a community. Todd (and Yolanda!) should be in happy and fulfilling relationships, if they want them.
Just not together.
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Sometimes opposites attract, and sometimes, they just clash until they fall apart. Yolanda is serious and driven and wants her partner to be just as serious and down to earth. Todd is…Todd. Delightful, but comes with a strong energy of benevolent chaos.
They have nothing in common…aside from being asexual. (Sex-repulsed asexuals, from the sound of it. I did appreciate the differentiation; some aces totally can and do have and enjoy sex for a ton of reasons that aren’t attraction.) They both seem alloromantic — they experience romantic attraction for each other — but that alone is not the basis of a good relationship. Bare minimums like orientation, race, ability, or gender hardly ever are.
How many times have you looked at an ensemble cast on a TV show, seen two marginalized characters in a lineup of white, allo-straight, cisgender, abled, TV-hot folks, and gone Gee, wonder who they’ll end up with? Just guess. Spoiler: it’s a rare show that will break the pattern and not put the only two gay — or asexual, or fat, or Black, or disabled if they even exist here — characters together. Seeing it over and over makes you start to think…huh, maybe we’re really not good enough for the main hot heroes. Maybe we should just stick together and not even consider any alternative. Because if someone’s straight, abled, TV-hot, etc., why would they even give us a second look?
It sucks.
And it’s also kind of dehumanizing (even if one of the people in question happens to be an anthropomorphic axolotl). It suggests we’re all the same, and therefore, we belong with our own ‘kind’; it reduces us down to our orientations or whatever other marginalization; and it doesn’t take into account unique aspects like personality, hopes, dreams, or fears. When, darn it, we’re so much more than that. We’re multifaceted and interesting and generally awesome, and if someone doesn’t see that, it’s their hecking loss.
But this season actually did recognize this: that these two really do not work together, regardless of orientation. Relationships aren’t always a happily-ever-after; it’s never a guarantee. Seeing them amicably part ways was a relief, not a letdown.
And then there’s Todd’s longtime friend-and-kind-of-girlfriend Emily. Super allo, super into muscled firefighters, and definitely wants sex to be part of her relationships, which puts Todd out of the running. There’s nothing wrong with that; you can’t help your sexual attraction, or lack thereof. It happens a lot in real life, so it’s always sad to see in fiction. (It would have been lovely if she’d have said, ‘You know what? I love Todd for Todd, he’s worth it, I’ll figure it out,’ but she’s also a person with her own agency and right to have a relationship that’s fulfilling to her!)
But it could have been so much worse.
IRL, ace people can easily get pressured into sex with their allo partners. Or people who think they just need to be ‘fixed.’ There’s a word for that, and it’s the same as any other kind of sex someone doesn’t want.
No, Todd doesn’t need that. He doesn’t need to be corrected. None of us do. In this case, a breakup is so much better than what could have been, and I was kind of terrified it would, like to the point where I couldn’t really enjoy the first few episodes the first time. I was so worried — and so incredibly relieved when it didn’t happen, with Yolanda and her family, or with Emily.
And Todd tried with Emily, too! Making a sex robot sounds like it might work. On paper. In Todd-Logic-Land. It’s kind of an extension of, ‘Well, if one person wants sex and one doesn’t, the sex-wanting person can just get some toys or something?’ Which is reasonable! A lot of mixed-orientation couples do function that way. Todd just went a little…far with it. As he does.
So that’s two potential Todd relationships down, and thank goodness.
But the season also, interestingly, kind of opens itself up for another one: At one point, Todd tries out the new romantic ace dating app Emily made for him. We see it loading, getting ready to match him up with another maybe-compatible ace person, presumably girl…and then it cuts away.
But maybe there is no match. Maybe Todd closes the app and doesn’t want to know. Maybe it’s 404, ace partner not found. Maybe it’s himself. That would be another cool opportunity: we don’t need relationships to be happy and complete. Ace or aro, or even allo. Sometimes you’re good on your own. Sometimes all you need is a found family, or yourself.
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