It will come as little to no surprise to anyone who has read this site at any time over the past four years that I have always been extremely annoying, and especially so when the topic I’m discoursing on is one with which I am obsessed. Which means, of course, that I have always been extremely annoying about cartoons.
Since I was raised by wonderful parents with rich intellectual lives whose inclinations were to encourage their children’s imaginations and interests, my folks were usually gracious enough to let my nonsense slide. That was not the case when it came to Ed’s infamous catchphrase “Buttered toast!” from Ed, Edd n Eddy. In that case, they literally banned the words—at least in that dreaded cadence—from being uttered in our home.
If you are wondering why this was the case, let me make that clear: I repeated that phrase all. the. time. Like, constantly. I said “buttered toast” so often that “ad nauseum” doesn’t quite cut it. I don’t know why I found this phrase so funny. I truly don’t. And yet I did.
To be fair, listening to it again now, I can see why a young lad, nine to twelve years of age, might find this funny:
In fact, there was even a bit of a meta-humor to it on occasion:
This, however, does not change the fact that hearing the words “buttered toast” repeated endlessly in a dumb voice was absolutely infuriating to everyone who had to hear it. I remember being asked to cut it out at school, and at choir practice, and (in choice words) by the older scouts at Boy Scouts. I simply could not help myself. So my folks, being the loving and caring and supportive parents they were, made me.
Yet when I asked them recently, over the phone, about their recollections of the Buttered Toast Affair, it seems that the whole thing had become no more than a blip on the radar when it came to their memories of my childhood.
John: Do you remember that phase I went through when I was obsessed with Ed, Edd n Eddy and I would go around saying “buttered toast” all the time?
Mom: I hate to break it to you, John, but I never knew that “buttered toast” came from Ed, Edd n Eddy. I thought it was just something you and your friends said to each other.
Dad: So did I! I thought it came out of the blue.
Mom: All this proves is that it really is true: parents are oblivious to what their kids are really doing. That’s all I remember, is that you and—I think [your childhood friend] Simon, or maybe one of the others, I’m forgetting their names—were always, like, “Buttered toast!”
John: And it drove you crazy, so you banned us from saying it in the house!
Mom: See, I forgot that too!
Dad: What I can tell you, John, is that the ones I didn’t see, I honestly don’t remember, and the ones I did see I chose to forget.
From out of the mouths of boomers! Personally, what amazes me the most is that my mom thought my friends and I had been the ones to come up with the phrase. I can’t tell, to be honest, if that proves that my mom thought highly or extremely poorly of my imagination at that time. Makes you think!
Thankfully, I am now a fully-grown adult. And while my relentless consumption of, and preference for, cartoons—including those aimed at audiences of children of all ages—certainly will not convince the haters who think cartoons are just for kids (lol sit down, you probably watch reality television) that I have, in fact, grown up, perhaps this will: the only buttered toast in my home is the kind I eat. I still think of it in Ed’s voice, though. Some things never change.
Thanks for reading The Dot and Line, where we’ve written about animation of all kinds for more than four years. We’ll miss you! If you’ll miss us too, show us some love on Twitter and show our writers the money on GoFundMe. Read our goodbyes here: That’s All, Folks!