On February 24, my dear co-editor Eric co-wrote a Very Wrong list on the movies of Hayao Miyazaki for his day job place, Thrillist. Not everything is utterly hopeless about this list, mind you, but any ranking of these films that does not include Princess Mononoke in the top three cannot be considered True and Just. For his part, Eric, who knows a little something about the perfection that is any Miyazaki film—even the less perfect ones—agrees.
We will rebut this travesty later. In the meantime, with the full knowledge that Miyazaki-san is bonkers for European-style crenellations and traces italiennes, here is a list of all of the major castles in Miyazaki films, objectively correctly ranked:
3. Howl’s moving castle, from ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’
We hear your complaint, dear reader, and gently reject it. An animate steampunk junkyard just can’t compare to a true castle, no matter how brilliantly designed.
2. The Castle of Cagliostro, from The Castle of Cagliostro
This is some Dracula ish if we’ve ever seen it.
1. Laputa, from ‘Castle in the Sky’
I mean…does anyone who sees this movie not want to live there?
There, now. That wasn’t so hard, was it?
Thanks for reading The Dot and Line, where we talk about animation.
If you liked this story, sign up for our newsletter.
