At 55, Jonny Quest is somewhere in an inpatient ward, recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder stemming from years of child abuse via traumatizing high adventure, but wow, look at this walking eye!
Now that’s a high-quality surveillance drone right there. Sure, it may contributed to the thousands of anxiety attacks Jonny has gutted through for decades since a horrific youth billed as riveting pulp fiction, but just look at it go.
It even comes in alternate colors, like “supervillain technology–inflicted bruise purple.” Stylish and terrifying, the walking eye!
This brilliant piece of super-technology has gone on to strike fear into the hearts of child adventurers for generations. Look at the Venture Bros. trying to make light of their horrifying youth with their very own walking eye!
You too could be the proud owner of one walking eye, for the cool price of decades of trauma and consequent therapy (plus $59,999.95, plus tax). Take it for a walk! Take it for a wash! The walking eye!
You’ll be the envy of the block as mad scientists and supervillains line up to take a shot at stealing your walking eye and destroying your progeny’s childhood!
There’s even a fresh new model allowing you to upgrade your friendly home AI into one of these super awesome monstrosities. Get ready for Walking Alexeyes, coming soon to an Amazon shopping list and/or LexCorp arms outlet near you.
Sure, it’ll ensure that the next generation of child adventurers will join Quest and the Venture boys in playing host to a wide variety of addictions and mental health issues, but…walking eye!
I mean, come on. Walking eye!
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