This year marks the 25th anniversary of the release of a certain Stephen Spielberg film about dinosaurs. No, I’m not talking about Jurassic Park (although I would die for Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum). I’m talking about Amblimation’s documentary masterpiece, We’re Back: A Dinosaur’s Story.
Based on the Hudson Talbott children’s nonfiction book of the same name, We’re Back documents the story of four prehistoric dinosaurs who, after eating an intelligence-enhancing breakfast cereal called “Brain Grain,” arrived in modern-day New York City to become the hottest attraction at the Museum of Natural History. Along the way, they became the stars of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, accidentally joined a deranged circus, and showed America that a little compassion is all we need.
The real stars of We’re Back, though, were Louie and Cecilia, two human kids who were so fed up with their parents that they’re ready to run away and join the circus. The movie ends [SPOILER ALERT] with Louie and Cecilia becoming “quite the little couple,” but The Dot and Line has learned that they did not stay that way. We stumbled upon their recently published OKCupid profiles, and they’re a thing to behold. After some conversation, Louie and Cecilia (who remain close friends to this day) allowed The Dot and Line to publish their dating profiles in full below. “We’ll always love each other as dear friends,” they said in a joint statement given to The Dot and Line. “But sometimes going through an emotional experience together in your youth doesn’t translate to life-long partnership.”
These pubescent heroes are now adults on the dating scene. They may have some baggage (who signs a contract they haven’t even read?!), but they’re looking for love just like the rest of us.
LOUIE
Male / 25 / Staten Island, NY
Self-Summary
Self-reliant, endlessly resourceful, and always on the run. I may seem like a tough guy, but I can make friends with anyone. Non-humans included (and preferred).
What I’m Doing With My Life
Running away to join the circus.
No, seriously.
Six Things I Could Never Do Without
My dope connections at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (want to scam your way onto a float? I’m your man.)
My mental map of NY
My Hudson River-proof raft (RIP, old friend)
The oversized bomber jacket I stole from a Goodwill
Little Richard’s discography
A good pep talk
The Most Personal Thing I’m Willing to Admit
I was once transformed into a monkey for about 12 hours by a deranged ringleader, and ever since then I can’t stop buying fur coats.
On A Typical Friday Night I Am
Hanging with my Dino Bros at the Museum of Natural History. That T-Rex owes me big time.
You Should Message Me If
You want to go on an adventure, but you’re not into that mushy stuff like hugging or holding hands. Gross.
CECILIA
Female / 25 / Gramercy Park
Self-Summary
Hopeless romantic former debutante seeks a partner in crime from the wrong side of the tracks. Or just someone to get me out of my apartment.
What I’m Doing With My Life
Sitting on my balcony, staring longingly out onto the park, waiting for my parents to come home. They’re off in Hawaii this week. Or is it London? I can’t keep track. Anyway, I’m running out of food here.
Six Things I Could Never Do Without
Seamless!!!
A quality hat, preferably with ribbons
Good manners (etiquette is so undervalued these days)
The maid who checks in every now and then and makes sure I’m still breathing
Nautical fashion
My doorman
The Most Personal Thing I’m Willing to Admit
When I’m left alone for too long, sometimes I throw my mom’s diamonds off the balcony of our apartment. What? It’s not like she’s ever around to notice.
On A Typical Friday Night I Am
Putting on a fashion show with the clothes in my mom’s closet, or waiting for my parents to show up at a cotillion event (again).
You Should Message Me If
You’re kind, adventurous, a little scrappy, and have a better plan for your day than just pacing around a giant apartment.
Thanks for reading The Dot and Line, where we talk about animation of all kinds. Don’t forget to for this article and follow us on Twitter and Facebook.
