Site icon The Dot and Line

The Best Cartoon Theme Songs: A March Madness Tournament

OK, three, two, one…

Welcome one and all to the end of days, sponsored by the hot new global bestseller The Novel Coronavirus and cancellations of entertaining and essential programming worldwide. The name of the game is MARCH MADNESS, but with a twist: rather than a tournament of the most titanic teams in college basketball, our brackets seek to answer this question: What is the best cartoon theme song? We, the editors of The Dot and Line, will be your hosts today—manically, madly, musically mouthing off about our favorite toony tunes and offering you, sweet socially isolated reader, a chance to do the same. So! With only a little further ado!

…let’s jam.

Rules of the Tournament

Every good contest has a good set of guidelines. Here are ours, for the record and posterity. We’re sure you’ll agree that they’re very good.

For those of you unaware of the Charlie Kelly Defense, let us present it to you herewith:

Thank you. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let us present…

The Brackets

The Anime Cup
The Western Cup

Exciting, yes? Please feel free to download/print these brackets here and fill them out for yourselves. Should you tweet at us with an image of your completed bracket, we will retweet it, perhaps even with comments from one of our very own editor-judges, especially if it is either very good or very bad, which will be determined according to our own utterly arbitrary system of guidelines. Please do this. We are all locked inside and going slowly mad. You are too. You have the time. Blow off some steam. DO IT.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The staff of The Dot and Line officially presents its victors in the inaugural and ultimate March’s Merrie Melodies Musical Madness tournament.


March’s Merrie Melodies Musical Madness

Editors’ Picks

Elly’s champs are… Sailor Moon and Arthur

These are two shows that literally got me through childhood and the theme songs are proof to me that music, even seemingly “silly” theme songs from children’s TV shows, can be all about healing and joy and give us hope. I can’t think of two songs we need in this world more right now than ones that spread the idea that having fun isn’t hard if you have a library card (or books on your shelves!) and the notion of “fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight!” Right now what we need in the world is books, fighting evil, and love. That’s all, folks.

Elly Belle
Elly Belle

Eric’s champs are… Cowboy Bebop and Arthur

It can’t really be overstated how important a message it is for children that “Every day when you’re walking down the street / Everybody that you meet / Has an original point of view.” That optimism is what propelled Arthur‘s “Believe in Yourself” to the top of my American cartoon brackets, the same way the horns in Cowboy Bebop‘s “Tank!” propelled that song to victory in the anime matchups. Special shout-out for posterity to Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory‘s theme song “The Winner” for its soaring English chorus “I got a burnin’ heart” and heroically hooky horns. I wish it could have won it all, just as I wish the same for Pinky and the Brain‘s theme, but Neon Genesis Evangelion and Animaniacs are both iconically memorable for good reason, and they more than earned their spots as runners-up.

Eric Vilas-Boas
Eric Vilas-Boas

John’s champs are… Neon Genesis Evangelion and DuckTales

What makes a great cartoon theme song? Until the championship round of each of these brackets, I actively worked not to think too hard about it. Whatever melody and, if appropriate, lyrics most filled my heart with feelings and/or my feet with the desire to dance in each round was enough to declare a victor. I found the right brackets to be more competitive (or, at least, difficult to decide) in both cups, frankly—it broke my heart to see the Samurai Champloo and Tiny Toon Adventures themes, for instance fizzle out so soon—which made it somewhat surprising to me that the left bracket’s champion took both cups for me.

Nevertheless, here we are. In the last round, I came to decide that for me, the ability to sing along to a theme gave it an intrinsic advantage against an instrumental when the chips came down, despite my deep love of jazz and all things with a horn and string section. So DuckTales beating Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies and thus giving the House of Mouse one in the W column against Warner Bros. was somewhat inevitable: not only is it a banger, but I can sing “wooo-oooo!” while it bangs. I feel mostly fine about this, as I know in my bones that when it comes to Donald vs. Daffy, that the latter duck is the better duck. (Unrelatedly, lemme shout-out to the Hey Arnold! theme, which absolutely whips.) The anime decision, however, broke me. As a whole, Cowboy Bebop has the best anime opening sequence of all time. I love it with my whole self. It is perfect. But in the end, when I needed a theme to sing along to, it didn’t quite, uh, bop enough. (Kill me before the plague does, please.) In a true upset—as in, like, I’m upsetNeon Genesis Evangelion‘s “A Cruel Angel’s Thesis” one-ups “Tank!” and Yoko Kanno for the win. I’m gonna carry that weight.

John Maher
John Maher

Marley’s champs are… Attack on Titan and Teen Titans

It’s a total titan takedown, folks! For anime, it came down to the classic city pop bop from Yu Yu Hakusho vs. a theme song for the end of the world, and the killer guitar riffs, thrilling brass, and all-too-relevant lyrics of Linked Horizon’s “Feuerroter Pfeil und Bogen” gave Attack on Titan the win in my book. Puffy AmiYumi’s Teen Titans theme puts a more upbeat J-rock spin on uncertain times, clarifying that when there’s trouble we do, in fact, know who to call (Teen Titans!) It’s also basically impossible not to sing along to, a quality that helped it nudge out Gravity Falls for the big win.

Marley Crusch
Marley Crusch

Sammy’s champs are… Pokémon and BoJack Horseman

Sure, it’s slightly nonsensical from a lyrical perspective, but it’s undeniable: The Pokémon theme song slaps. It excites! It motivates! And IT SLAPS. Plus—for weary, burned out, geeky millennials like the Dot and Line crew—the Pokémon theme song is a wormhole to a simpler time, when life’s biggest problem was little asshole kid on the playground who wouldn’t trade back your Charizard card. All of this and more is why Pokémon gets the crown from me. As for BoJack Horseman, how can you go wrong with a soulful sax on top of a funky, trippy beat that makes you want to dance and cry into an entire family-sized frozen pizza at the same time?

Sammy Nickalls
Sammy Nickalls

Miscellany and Memorabilia

For those of you who are as off your gourd as we are, we’ve included a list of all our contenders and honorable mentions for each cup, listed alphabetically and with links to the song on YouTube, below. We’ve also included an extremely patchwork, cover-heavy, mostly half-assed playlist for the Anime Cup, because why not?

#The Anime Cup
1Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day (Aoi Shiori)
2Asobi Asobase (Three Piece)
3Astro Boy (1963)
4Attack on Titan (Opening 1: Linked Horizon)
5Baccano (Guns & Roses)
6Bleach (Opening 5: Rolling Star)
7Blue Exorcist (Opening 2: Welcome to My World)
8Carole and Tuesday (Opening 1: Kiss Me)
9Casshern Sins
10Cowboy Bebop (Tank!)
11Death Parade (Flyers)
12Digimon (American Theme)
13Dragon Ball Z (American Theme: Rock the Dragon)
14Fairy Tail (Opening 15: Masayume Chasing)
15Fisherman Sanpei
16FLCL (Ride on a Shooting Star)
17Fullmetal Alchemist (Opening 4: Period)
18Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (Opening 1: Again)
19Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo
20Gigantor
21Great Teacher Onizuka (Driver’s High)
22Gundam 0083 (Opening 1: Stardust Memory)
23Gundam Wing (Opening 1: Just Communication)
24Gurenn Lagann (Opening 1: Tengen Toppa)
25Hellsing
26K-On! (Opening 1: Cagayake! GIRLS)
27Kagaku Ninja-Tai Gatchaman (Taosazu! Galactor)
28Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken (Easy Breezy)
29Kids on the Slope (Sakamichi No Melody)
30Le Chevalier D’Eon (Opening 1: Born)
31Lupin the 3rd (Opening 1: Lupin Sansei Sono 1)
32Macross
33Mobile Suit Gundam (Fly Gundam)
34Mongolian Chop Squad (Hit In America)
35My Hero Academia (Opening 1: You Say Run)
36Naruto (Opening 4: Go!)
37Naruto Shippuden (Opening 16: Silouette)
38Negima! Magister Negi Magi (Opening 1: Happy Material)
39Neon Genesis Evangelion (A Cruel Angel’s Thesis)
40One Piece (Opening 1: We Are!)
41One Punch Man (Opening 1: The Hero!! Set Fire to the Furious Fist)
42Outlaw Star
43Paradise Kiss (Lonely In Gorgeous)
44Paranoia Agent (Dream Island Obsessional Park)
45Ping Pong the Animation
46Pokémon (American Opening 1)
47Revolutionary Girl Utena (Opening 1: Rinbu Revolution)
48Rurouni Kenshin (Opening 1: Freckles)
49Sailor Moon (Opening 1)
50Samurai Champloo (Battlecry)
51Serial Experiments Lain
52Silent Mobius
53Space Battleship Yamato (Uchuu Senkan Yamato)
54Speed Racer (Japanese)
55The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Opening 1: Bouken Desho Desho)
56The Vision of Escaflowne
57Tiger Mask (Ike! Tiger Mask)
58Tokyo Ghoul (Opening 2: Unravel)
59Trigun
60Vinland Saga (Opening 1: Mukanjyo)
61Your Lie In April (Opening 1: Hikaru Nara)
62Yu Yu Hakusho (Hohoemi no Bakudan )
63Yu-Gi-Oh! (American Version)
64Yuri On Ice (History Maker)
HM.hack sign
HMA Certain Scientific Railgun (Only My Railgun)
HMBlack Clover (Opening 3)
HMBlack Lagoon (Red Fraction)
HMBlue Gender (Break Free)
HMClannad After Story (Toki wo Kizamu Uta)
HMClaymore
HMDemon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Gurenge)
HMDr. Stone (Opening 2: Sangenshoku)
HMDurarara (Opening 2: Complication)
HMFate Zero (Opening 2: To the Beginning)
HMFate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works (Opening 2) – Brave Shine
HMFist of the North Star (Ai wo Norimodose!)
HMFood Wars! Shokugeki no Soma Opening 1: Kibō no Uta
HMFushigi No Umi no Nadia (Blue Water)
HMFushigi Yuugi
HMGhost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (Inner Universe)
HMGintama (Opening 13: SPYAIR)
HMGuilty Crown (Opening 1: My Dearest)
HMGunbuster (Active Heart)
HMHaikyuu!! (Opening 1: Imagination)
HMHajime no Ippo: New Challenger (HEKIREKI)
HMHunter x Hunter (Opening 1: Departure)
HMHyouka (Opening 1)
HMJojo’s Bizarre Adventure, (Opening 2: Bloody Stream”)
HMK (Opening 1: “King” by Angela)
HMMacross Delta
HMMob Psycho 100 (99)
HMNoragami (Opening 1: Goya no Machiawase)
HMNoragami Aragoto (Kyouran Hey Kids!!)
HMOne Piece (Opening 14: Fight Together)
HMOwari no Seraph (X.U.)
HMPersona 4 the Animation (Opening Sky’s the Limit)
HMPlanetes (Dive in the Sky)
HMRe:Zero (Opening 1: Starting Lie In Another World)
HMRecord of Lodoss War (Kiseki no Umi)
HMRising Shield Hero (Opening 1: Rise)
HMSaint Seiya (Pegasus Fantasy)
HMSlayers NEXT (Give a Reason)
HMSoul Eater (Opening 1 “Resonance”)
HMSound! Euphonium (Opening 1)
HMSteins;Gate (Hacking to the Gate)
HMSword Art Online (Op 1: Crossing Fields)
HMThe King of Braves GaoGaiGar
HMThe Promised Neverland (Touch Off)
HMViolet Evergarden (Sincerely)
HMWolf’s Rain
HMX/1999 (exDream
HMZatch Bell (Opening 1: Kasabuta)
#The Western Cup
1Adventure Time
2Animaniacs
3Aqua Teen Hunger Force
4Archer
5Arthur
6As Told By Ginger
7Batman: The Animated Series
8BoJack Horseman
9Captain Planet
10CatDog
11Cow and Chicken
12Darkwing Duck
13Dexter’s Laboratory
14Doug
15Duck Tales (original)
16Ed, Edd & Eddy
17Fairly Oddparents
18Freakazoid
19Futurama
20Gargoyles
21Goof Troop
22Gravity Falls
23Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
24Hey Arnold!
25Inspector Gadget
26Invader Zim
27Johnny Bravo
28Jonny Quest
29Josie and the Pussycats
30Kim Possible
31King of the Hill
32Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies
33Moral Orel
34Peanuts
35Pepper Ann
36Pinky and the Brain
37Popeye the Sailor Man
38Powerpuff Girls
39Recess
40Rick and Morty
41Rocko’s Modern Life
42Rugrats
43Samurai Jack
44Scooby Doo, Where Are You?
45South Park
46Space Ghost Coast to Coast
47SpongeBob Squarepants
48Steven Universe
49TaleSpin
50Teen Titans
51The Amazing World of Gumball
52The Angry Beavers
53The Boondocks
54The Flintstones
55The Magic School Bus
56The Pink Panther
57The Proud Family
58The Simpsons
59Thundercats
60Tiny Toon Adventures
61Tom and Jerry
62Venture Bros.
63Waynehead
64X-Men: The Animated Series
HMAaahh!!! Real Monsters
HMAlvin and the Chipmunks
HMAmerican Dad
HMBatman Beyond
HMBig Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot
HMBob the Builder
HMCasper the Friendly Ghost
HMCodename: Kids Next Door
HMDaria
HMDora the Explorer
HMFranklin
HMHong Kong Phooey
HMJem and the Holograms
HMJimmy Neutron
HMMighty Mouse
HMOver the Garden Wall
HMPirates of Dark Water
HMRocket Power
HMSealab 2021
HMSpace Ghost
HMSpider-Man
HMStatic Shock
HMSuperman: The Animated Series
HMSwat Kats: The Radical Squadron
HMTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
HMThe Jetsons
HMThe Real Adventures of Jonny Quest
HMThe Ren and Stimpy Show
HMThe Smurfs
HMTransformers
HMUnderdog

Thanks for reading The Dot and Line, where we talk about animation of all kinds. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and sign up for our newsletter.

Exit mobile version