Hey, All You Normies Who Hate On Jazz. Why Do You Love Cartoon Theme Songs So Much?

Do you know how many of the best cartoon theme songs are jazz? You cats really gotta get consistent out here.

Hi there! The Dot and Line’s resident jazz fanatic here. This is a public service announcement: if you’re one of those people who hate on people who love jazz for being weird or uncool—which is hilarious, since there has never been anyone cooler than Miles Davis and therefore by the transitive property there has never been anything as cool as jazz, let alone cool jazz, which is an actual entire category of jazz—but you love cartoons and cartoon theme songs, you’re a big dummy and you’re lying to yourself! Get it together!

Do you know how many of the best cartoon theme songs are jazz? A whole heap, man! Haven’t you filled out one of our March’s Merrie Melodies Music Madness brackets yet? Because there’s a damn good chance a jazz song won your bracket. You cats really gotta keep up. Think about it: Hey Arnold! Cowboy Bebop. (It’s in the damn name!) Pink Panther. Baccano. Peanuts. SO. MANY. I’d say that I’m sorry and I don’t make the rules because that’s the meme, but actually I do make the rules, and the rules now clearly state that if you love cartoons, you also are obligated to love jazz. If you have a problem with that, go watch Kids on the Slope about it.


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John Maher
John Maher is news and digital editor at Publishers Weekly and editor in chief at The Dot and Line, which he co-founded. His work has been published by New York magazine, The Los Angeles Times, and Esquire, among others.
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