John Maher is a wonderful partner and friend. He’s as kind and generous as he is engaging and intelligent. He cooks as well as an Iron Chef, writes as poetically as that group of people known as Shakespeare, and will save my lazy butt in the coming apocalypse (date an Eagle Scout, ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary folks). His energy and enthusiasm for the things he cares about is infectious, and throughout our years of dating he’s encouraged me to expand my artistic and intellectual horizons.
I’ve introduced John to a fair share of my passions, too. He now sort of likes cats (big step, considering he’s allergic), appreciates my Broadway diva hero worship (looking at you, Patti), and has devoured all of the psychology, social work, and biology writing I’ve given him.
As you may have guessed from the stories featured in #JohnWithTheWind, however, our ever-growing cornucopia of mutual interests and passions does not include live-action television. Here’s how our conversations about starting a non-toon TV show typically go:
Me: Hey, John! Let’s watch [live-action TV show]. It’s really great, and I’d love to share it with you.
John: Oh, cool! Looks interesting. Let’s do it.
[An episode or two later]
John: Wow, that was great, but [reason why he doesn’t want to continue right now]. Why don’t we switch to [cartoon] for a bit and then watch the next episode later?
We never watch the next episode. To be fair, I have loved every single one of the cartoons John has suggested. But also to be fair, the boy is missing out on a lot of great TV.
So John, if you’re reading this, here are my top three shows you need to keep watching:
Doctor Who
Doctor Who is a campy, sci-fi epic about a crafty, ageless alien who steals a space-time machine (dubbed the TARDIS) and travels through all of existence. The Doctor and his rotating cast of companions save worlds from his fearsome foes, like the trash can/egg-beater/plunger hybrids the Daleks, and the ENIAC-level-clunky Cybermen. It is one of the longest-running shows on TV: except for a brief hiatus in the ’90s, Doctor Who has been on the air for over 50 years. It’s jam-packed with action, adventure, and timey-wimey nonsense while consistently (and not always so subtly) elevating the best aspects of our miserable species.
Now, I’m always up for a good campy, sci-fi romp, but I also understand that not everyone can slog through some of the more ridiculous episodes of the show. A TV purist, John refused to let me curate his Who experience and insisted on starting at the beginning of the 2005 reboot.
As a result, somewhere between this…
…and this…
…John gave up on the Doctor.
Fortunately for me (and the rest of society) the newest Doctor is a woman, and John has no choice but take a trip with me through all of time and space. I think he’ll find the TARDIS quite comfy.
Transparent
In all of time and space, we’re fortunate enough to be alive during the golden age of peak streaming service television content. I’m happy to ignore the gaggle of garbage fires (no one ever needed a Full House reboot, guys) when some of that content is as raw, honest, and progressive as Amazon’s original series, Transparent. The show centers on a wealthy Jewish family living in Los Angeles that is grappling with their father’s recent coming out as a trans woman. The title of the show is most obviously a play on the ostensibly main character, Maura: she is a parent who is trans. At the same time, the show is just as much about Maura’s transition as it is about her family’s relationships with each other and the world around them. Their emotionally destructive family dynamic — which the audience eventually learns is largely a product of the trauma that their distant relatives experienced in Berlin right before and during the Holocaust — centers around secrecy and deception. These frequently infuriating but sympathetic characters are rarely transparent with each other.
To be completely fair, I introduced Transparent to John by saying that I had three panic attacks while watching it for the first time (or as the Tumblr teens say, it hit me in the feels). I thought that would sell it: John’s a Jewish literature aficionado! He understands that unique type of existential angst. John reluctantly watched the first two episodes, conceded that it was compelling, but refused to watch more. I get it: this show is a lot. And in our current political climate, I understand the need to take a break from emotionally tumultuous shows. But trust me, my bubbeleh, it’s worth every oy gevalt. I promise I’ll get you some lox and schmear after.
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Despite his newfound appreciation for (and tolerance of my singing of) musicals, John dismissed Crazy Ex-Girlfriend as soon as I said, “This show was clearly made by theater kids.” The titular crazy ex-girlfriend, Rebecca Bunch, is a neurotic, secular Jewish lawyer from the affluent suburbs of New York City who decides on a depression-fueled whim to move to West Covina, California to win back the affections of the boy she dated at summer camp. Romcom-esque hijinks ensue.
Look, I get it: John gets to hang out with a secularly Jewish, neurotic New York suburbanite every day! But Rebecca Bunch is one of the most compelling and strong female leads on TV today. She’s so much more than a love-sick leading lady. She’s multifaceted and complicated: brilliant but not self-aware; loving but manipulative; steadfastly loyal and flaky. Equally notably, the show passes the Bechdel test with flying colors in every episode, and the cast of supporting characters is filled with queer folks, POC, and men who reject toxic masculinity.
As just a girl in love, I can’t be held responsible for my actions. And by actions, I mean sitting John on the couch and putting Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Transparent, and Doctor Who on loop until he agrees to watch each of them from start to finish.
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