An Urgent Question About ‘Freakazoid!’

IS IT STILL GOOD!?

Is It Still Good!? is a column measuring the continuing cultural strength of past animated products in the present. We use the mathematical formula (Force = Mass x Acceleration) as our model, where (Is It Still Good!? = Product x Decay Over Time, or, DOT). It is a proven model. Trust us. We’re the experts.

The show
Freakazoid! (1995–97)

The creators
Bruce Timm, Paul Dini, Tom Ruegger (creators); Steven Spielberg (executive producer); Paul Rugg, John McCann (main writers and, in Rugg’s case, star)

The logline
After teen nerd Dexter Douglas gets sucked into cyberspace, he becomes Freakazoid, a zany crimefighter powered by the internet. His duty? Protect Washington, D.C.—while being extremely aware that he’s on a TV show.

The context
Freakazoid! was always supposed to be a playful response to Batman: The Animated Series and its ilk. But during development, as the story goes, Spielberg pushed Timm and Dini’s original ideas for something semi-lighthearted (think Spider-Man) to full-on superhero send-up (more Animaniacs). The resulting half-hour lasted two seasons on Kids’ WB, and was likely canceled because execs couldn’t square the show’s advertising demo (kids under 14) with its fanbase (over 14). Now, more than two decades after the final curtain, and with Animaniacs returning in 2020, Rugg wants to Freakaboot.

The memory
I grew up a Batman fanatic—Mask of the Phantasm was my Bible, and I donned the Dark Knight’s cowl multiple Halloweens in a row, probably two years too many—so I gawked when I saw Freakazoid! making fun of the hero, rules, and tropes I held so dear. “You can do this?” I’d wonder, as Freak kvetched about “poo gas” or forgot how an episode was supposed to end. Probably, I pretended to dislike Freakazoid! Maybe because I thought you were only allowed one favorite superhero. (Or maybe because I could imagine Alfred Pennyworth calling the program “rubbish,” and I wouldn’t want to disappoint him. What if he told Bruce?) But the truth is, I loved this Chaotic Good version of the Joker. 

The product
Little me had lots to enjoy. A single Freakazoid! episode came packed with parodies, celebrity impressions and cameos, pop-culture references, musical numbers, insane non-sequiturs, old stock footage, and visual gags at an alarming jokes-per-minute clip. Sometimes these quips wouldn’t even have anything to do with the story. But as Rugg—virtuosic in the lead role, by the way—would tell you, the show was always more about being silly than making sense. Perhaps to curb total chaos, a lot of the silliness was still rooted in character. Freak, for example, acted nutso because he wanted to entertain himself, not just you. Sure, he had superpowers (lightning-quick speed, superhuman strength) and cool gadgets (the Freakmobile), but he enjoyed running around with his hands held over his head making whooshing sounds or pointing out that his gadgets were “toyetic” because that was more fun. Saving the day? Meh, fine… if I have to. 

As allies, Freakazoid had Dexter’s high school crush Steff (voiced by Tracy Rowe), who became his girlfriend; his conspiracy-loving butler, Professor Jones (Jonathan Harris); and, most memorably, the monotonous, probably lonely Sgt. Mike Cosgrove (Ed Asner), who more often distracted the attention span–less Freak than helped. He just wanted to hang:

Freakazoid: No doubt Longhorn’s up to some evil plan. I’d better find him without delay!
Cosgrove: Hey, Freakazoid! Wanna go see a bear ride a motorcycle?
Freakazoid: Do I!? Let’s roll!

On the other side of justice were:

The Lobe
Who: An arch scientist with a massive exposed brain for a head
Voiced by: David Warner
His thing: Loved making diabolical plans and inventions
His weakness: Low self-esteem

Armondo Guitierrez
Who: Chairman of Apex Microchips, makers of the tech that gave Freak his powers
Voiced by: Ricardo Montalbán (yes, that one)
His thing: Wanted Freak’s powers of the Internet
His weakness: Being called a “weenie”

Cobra Queen
Who: A sibilant sewer-dweller who became a snake-woman after a cosmetic mishap
Voiced by: Tress MacNeille
Her thing: Loved stealing things and terrorizing people with her giant snakes
Her weakness: Tongue twisters

Candle Jack
Who: A boogeyman who would kidnap any who uttered his name
Voiced by: Jeff Bennett
His thing: Enjoyed carrying candles, tying people up, and watching F Troop
His weakness: The smell of a fresh pumpkin pie

Longhorn
Who: A most-wanted criminal who surgically altered his appearance to that of a steer so he could blend in with… absolutely nothing
Voiced by: Maurice LaMarche
His thing: Liked a good robbery, but really wanted to become a Nashville recording artist
His weakness: Couldn’t resist singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the Seventh Inning Stretch

Deadpan
Who: A Daria-esque baddie who wanted to make Freakazoid look bad
Voiced by: Bebe Neuwirth
Her thing: Could shape-shift à la Mystique
Her weakness: Couldn’t disguise her voice

And that’s just for starters. With so many weirdos and comedic tools available, Freakazoid! episodes could be… anything. There was a chance you’d tune in to see a 22-minute installment about the red-undies-clad hero trying to save a kidnapped Norm Abram from the Lobe’s clutches. But (especially in Season 1) there was also a chance you’d be met with something closer to a sketch or variety show. In one of the earlier episodes I watched, there was a 10-minute remembrance for Foamy the Freakadog, an ally who proved very unhelpful and rabid, followed by seven Freakazoid-less minutes of a side character, Lord Bravery, trying to get a bakeshop to change its name after stealing his. That was followed by an ode to Leonard Nimoy, itself followed by Freak mimicking the sound of an emergency broadcasting system test until he ran out of breath, at which point he taught viewers how to say “happy little narwhal!” in Norwegian. 

Decay over time
If Freakazoid!‘s mission was to be as silly as possible, it was—and still is—a huge success. The randomness, clashing-in-context characters, and unorthodox fisticuffs remain refreshing in a genre known for grimdark vigilantes. How could I have thought Alfred wouldn’t have approved? (It’s easier now for me to see him sneaking episodes and tittering while Bruce was away on a job.) Rewatching, I was often reminded—and I’m not the first—of the saying, “If you don’t like the weather now, wait five minutes.” So stuffed with jokes are the scripts that it’s rare to encounter an episode devoid of laughs. It helped that, like Freakazoid himself, the writers were self-aware, foregrounding their faults and then surprising you with a laugh. Too much lazy exposition? A chyron called it out before you could. Something too insane? Freak mugged to the camera.

That’s not to say Freakazoid! was perfect. Early grab-bag episodes occasionally sweat to hit 22 minutes of worthwhile material—perhaps a result of Freak’s haphazard development process. There were also missed opportunities, of which love interest Steff was a big one. Though she gets a couple chances to shine, her character is ultimately flat and underutilized. Fans might recall mention of a female ally, Freakazette, in the Season 1 song, “Freakazoid and Friends.” That was all we ever saw of the heroine, but there were reportedly plans for an episode, “Enter: Freakazette,” to formally introduce Dexter’s blue-clad counterpart. (Likely Steff in Freakaform.) What could’ve been—though her absence hasn’t prevented diehards from penning fanfic—since so many of the non-male characters in Freakazoid!, barring really only Cobra Queen, appear as punchlines and props.

The same can be said of non-white representation. To be sure, it was a coup to have the inimitable Montalbán voice one of the show’s key villains, Guitierrez—but that was an exception, not a rule. As with many of its ’90s peers, this series, both onscreen and off, could have benefited from more diverse points of view, and should have dispensed with its more misguided duds. (See: the Fatman bit and Freakazoid’s Louis Armstrong impersonation; also, was Dexter… an incel?)

In the grand scheme of the series run, though, its misses feel sporadic. Loads of the 24 episodes’ gags and references have aged quite well—some, like jabs at Jerry Springer and Sinbad, or nods to Marty Feldman and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Millennial viewers might even appreciate more now, just as with Animaniacs. All told, the greater legacy of Freakazoid! is its uniquely anarchic spirit, an absolute joy to behold. It birthed vintage memes, paved the way for more mischievous send-ups, and predicted what would happen to our own brains once we all became Extremely Online. (R.I.P.)

Younger fans of Deadpool and the superhero genre at large, and those who missed out on Freak in their ’90s childhoods, would do well to check out this cult classic. It’s not unlike watching a kid-friendlier @dril tweet come to life: deeply absurd, sometimes nonsensical, but very, very funny.

Is it still good!? 
Yes! Mostly! The pros far outnumber the cons. We support calls for a reboot—especially if it means justice for Freakazette.


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