maes hughes

What Would Maes Hughes Do?

An incomplete list.

Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes lived a full life that was only partly chronicled in the events of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. After hours of poring over the history delineated in its animated frames, The Dot and Line has painstakingly pieced together a guide to life, etiquette, friendship, love, and morality as exemplified by the life of this public servant of Amestris.

The question remains: What would Maes Hughes do (WWMHD)? He would:

  • Barge into his friend’s office, unannounced and with pleasure.
  • Talk about his wife, Gracia.
  • Talk about his daughter, Elicia.
  • Offer his home to friends in need.
  • Feed friends in need.
  • Empathize with friends in need.
  • Track down murderers.
  • Tell you straight how dangerous an enemy is.
  • Lay low to protect himself, for his family’s sake.
  • Remind his friends they should have looked him up when they got in town.
  • Hire librarians for well-paid jobs.
  • Gush over his daughter, Elicia, over a military phone line.
  • Gush over his wife, Gracia, over a military phone line.
  • Listen when his friends need to talk out their issues.
  • Threaten young boys with his sidearm just in case they try anything funny with his daughter, Elicia.
  • Closely investigate the semi-secretly genocidal crimes of his corrupt peers in the fascist military state he serves.
  • While wounded and bleeding, pick up a phone to contact his trusted friend and relay information that could shatter a country, then put down phone only to find a secure line by walking God knows how far outside.
  • Use his encrypted military code: “Uncle, Sugar, Oliver, then Eight, Zero, Zero.”
  • Instantly recognize the presence of an assassin posing as a friend and fellow office by noticing the absence of a mole under her left eye.
  • Say the words: “Come on, have a heart, will ya? I’ve got a wife and daughter waiting for me, so the last thing I’m gonna do is die on them.”
  • Apologize to his wife and daughter with his dying breath.
  • Die a hero.

Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, a man of supreme character, was survived by his wife, Gracia, his daughter, Elicia, his colleagues in the Amestrian State Military and the Investigations Office of Central City, and the countless friends to whom he opened up his life. He was promoted to the rank of Brigadier General for dying in the line of duty. He was never forgotten.

If you ever find yourself in a compromising or life-threatening situation and don’t know how to respond, just ask yourself: What would Maes Hughes Do?

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Eric Vilas-Boas
Co-Editor in Chief/Co-Founder of The Dot and Line. Definitely hasn't seen that meme.