Editor’s Note: For one week, The Dot and Line is (mostly lovingly) trolling its co-editor John Maher. This post explains why and how we’ll go about doing it, but if you don’t want to concern yourself with it, the TL;DR is that The Dot and Line is now The Dot and Live—focused with laser clarity on live-action TV—and there’s nothing John can do about it but sit back and watch.
Ahoy to you, dear Reader of The Dot and Line! My name is Eric—aka: the good-looking one in the photo above. It was recently brought to my attention that my co-editor, John—aka: the not-nearly-as-good-looking one in the photo above—trolled the crap out of me while I was off on vacation in Utah. Bravo, Mr. Maher, you got me! Now it’s my turn.
To start with, let’s take a closer look at this photo. In the words of Rafiki, “Look…harder….” Specifically, look at the spot on the photo that I, EVB have highlighted out.
That’s John! But that’s not just any John. That’s a John Hughes Maher III staring at…something? Something in the distance. But what could it be? I pored over this question over and over and over. What does my co-editor fear most of all that I could use to troll him back for about a week of minimal, but totally impactful, effort while he took his own brief leave from full-time The Dot and Line work on this summer? He traveled to Montana and is now schmoozing it up at a Yale conference for a combined absence of two full weeks from our beloved cartoon-focused Internet concern. You understand, Reader, I had to make my move somehow. I knew that this photo, shot in 2015 by the inimitable Carly Piersol, somehow held the key. It dawned on me after a recent exchange in which I asked John how far he’d gotten in The Wire.
“Did you ever finish it?” I recently asked.
“No,” he replied, following it up with where he left off (mid-Season 3, as I recall, and way too early) and why (not nearly a good enough reason to print). Outwardly, I nodded my head. I deferred to his schedule. I expressed my sympathies and vocalized my recommendation, as I have so many times:
“You really should just sit down and finish it.”
Meanwhile, in my head, I erupted: How has any entertainment journalist in 2017 who covers anything that airs on screens, still not watched The Goddamn Wire?
If you ask John, I’d wager he’d offer an answer something like, “I have no time for live-action shows” or “Isn’t the new Twin Peaks and Game of Thrones enough?” (the correct answer: No.) or “I’m reading too many books and watching too many cartoons and can’t keep up and there’s too much content,” or—most succinctly—“Cartoons are better.”
I’m not saying John’s points wouldn’t be valid there. I run this animation site and ride the content waves right alongside him. Still, I also regularly makes time to read about three decades of General Hospital trivia for shits and giggles in between binge-watching Animaniacs or Attack on Titan. John’s obsession with animation, however, far outpaces his tolerance for live-action television, and The Wire is no exception to his list of television casualties. Other critically acclaimed offerings he’s either started and bailed out on or refused to watch outright include Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Jane the Virgin, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, How to Get Away With Murder, and more.
This is in fact so common an occurrence for our big blasting boy over here that when I mentioned this to a few mutual friends, they immediately agreed with me. And as the villain in this plot, my point, Reader, is that this was perfect fodder for sweet, delicious payback.
Here’s what you can expect from reading The Dot and Line this week…
1. John’s out
He’s safe, of course, but this week was always supposed to be my week editing the site, so he won’t be around. In fact, I’ll go ahead and quote him on this from the last time I took some time off: “NO PARENTS! NO RULES! NO PARENTS! NO RULES!”
That means this is happening…
2. The site gets a new damn name and a new damn mission
Since our inception, we’ve been called The Dot and Line, named after a famous Chuck Jones short, and we’ve covered animation. That all changes right fucking now. Here are the new rules, effective immediately:
- Henceforth, this site will be called The Dot and Live and all stories packaged under this pop-up umbrella will carry the appropriate filigrees making that clear.
- All the stories will focus on live-action television that John Maher has failed to watch or bailed on mid-watch after ample recommendations from his friends.
3. Those stories will be written by John’s goon squad of friends
Myself included, but also the likes of John’s girlfriend and others—all of whom were very excited to giggle at this, I would be remiss in omitting. Fine scribes all.
4. Only good TV is allowed
I’m not here to ditch the whole damn concept of The Dot and Line for a week without intention and commitment to excellence.
5. I’m taking pitches until Thursday night at midnight EST
If you’d like to respond or contribute to this effort in some way, send me an email at vilasboas[dot]eric[at]gmail[dot]com. That includes you, John! 😉
And that’s literally all of it. Go read Sammy Nickalls’ opening salvo about How to Get Away With Murder and mine about The Wire now. And don’t forget to tweet up those stories with the hashtag #JohnWithTheWind.
Sincerely,
Eric Vilas-Boas
aka: The Good-Looking One With the Good Hair
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